have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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