Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
