Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
