He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
