Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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