i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
