Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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