Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
