I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
