Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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