The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
