It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
