I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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