I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
