Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
