Your tits are I can't wait for
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
