the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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