I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
