I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
