Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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