Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
