I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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