Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
