no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
