Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
