Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
