For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
