I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
