it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
