Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
