This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
