I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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