we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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