I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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