Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
