Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
