how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
