At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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