Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
