just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
