C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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