i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
