Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
