Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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