12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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