I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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