I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
