just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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