i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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