I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
